Comments on: Marriage, successful women, and the fact that will never settle for anything less than I deserve.

By: Harvett

Harvett — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 19:42:18 +0000

You are not kidding too many people settle, They are selling themselves short.

By: Renee

Renee — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 06:51:51 +0000

Awsome! Thank you! Well said! I wish all my female friends had standards like us.

By: All in the Dance

All in the Dance — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 04:32:06 +0000

i love that even just reading reviews of this book has prompted so many varied responses from women! i also wrote a response to it. In case you’re curious, here’s my kind of totally opposite (but still annoyed with Gottlieb) take on it:
http://all-in-the-dance.blogspot.com/2010/02/settling.html

By: June

June — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:12:10 +0000

Totally and completely agree. Yes, we do have a “biological clock,” but that doesn’t mean women should settle when their time starts ticking. Just freeze up some eggs (if you really want to make babies) and find someone who’s truly right for you

By: Dani Alberti

Dani Alberti — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:36:27 +0000

Right on, Lauren! It’s disgusting that this idea actually exists that women are somehow defective if they aren’t married by 35. Hard-working, independent women like ourselves should never be defined by the men in our lives, and we shouldn’t be dragged down by a man that we “settle” for.

I’m so inspired by your success since leaving college. You picked up everything and moved across the country to start a job you love and live independently. You are the reason I decided to just move to Washington, D.C. when I graduate. I really admire that you take so much pride in your work and in yourself. Don’t ever settle for anything less than what you deserve!

By: Alison

Alison — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:52:16 +0000

I could not agree with everything you just said! To put yet another twist on how this whole concept works, there are women out there who put family above their careers but this does NOT make them any less successful. Yes, I am not 35 and I am married, and I am about to have a baby but the things that make me, me are more so true now than they ever were. They are truer now because I have found that person who supports my want to have a family and be a mom first and foremost. Being a mom and having a family were my priorities and I have found someone who is in the same place in their life that wants the same things, a family. Would I be married to my husband if he wanted to have kids 10 years from now, no and I would not have settled just to be “married”. Women have fought long and hard for the right to have what they want in life, do what they want and dream as big as they can dream and it is not ok to start back peddling and saying that now we need to settle for a husband that is an 8 just because we chose to be successful in our careers. Women and men need to support one another and once that begins to happen all of these taboo stereotypes will fade away, hopefully!
You are an amazing person and you WILL find that guy who supports you for who YOU are and I will not stand bedside you on your wedding day until you find that man, that is my promise to you!

By: Gena

Gena — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 15:18:59 +0000

Lauren,
This is one of the best posts I think you have done. After reading this the first thing I thought was, if you stick to your guns on this you are going to be very very successful in every part of your life. There are men out there that are scared of successful women, and then there are men out there that embrace them. Wait for him, you WILL find him.

By: Kaci

Kaci — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:09:15 +0000

UGH.

Even if my head didn’t already hurt, this would make my head hurt.

The best advice I have EVER received in my entiiire life (and I’ve gotten a.lot.of advice) was to NEVER SETTLE.

That is all.

By: Jeremy Orr

Jeremy Orr — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 01:51:52 +0000

Lauren (or Loren as you are known at starbucks), this message is universal- it’s the same for men as it is for women. Too many people settle. Not just with relationships but with life. Settling’s easy. It’s the cowards way out. Not enough people are willing to take the risk and be single in order to find the person out there who is right for them. I am a 31 year old guy and am happily single. I date and am actively trying to find the woman who is right for me. I will not settle for anything less. I know there are many women out there who fit the profile for me. I am careful not to be picky. Above all else I am respectful and treat others the way I want to be treated.
Be proud that you are a strong and passionate woman, there are men out there (like me) who appreciate and are looking for just that.

By: Aaron

Aaron — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 01:44:51 +0000

Just like there’s a difference between “depending on someone” and “connecting with someone” there is a difference between “Settling” and “Compromising.”

In the first example, depending on someone can lead to relying on them for everything while, when you connect with someone, you do it on a deep, intimate level. You are allowed to remain who you are: your beliefs, your hopes and your dreams while also caring about the other person’s hopes, etc.

The same goes for settle and compromise. When you settle, you just put a ceiling on your aims. When you compromise you lower the aims but keep the potential. If you, as a couple, compromise equally, you grow together and have the option to reach all your goals.

It’s just a tweak in perspective but it can change how you view your world and the people in it.