Select Page

“The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”

I’ve learned many things since I’ve moved to San Francisco. I’ve learned that living alone is incredible. I’ve learned that work and the “real world” is a lot harder than I thought it would be – but it’s also even more rewarding. I’ve learned that I should always look both ways before crossing the street. I’ve learned that cab drivers are generally insane. I’ve learned that winters are rainy and fall is beautiful in the city (and I can’t wait for spring). I’ve learned how to tell when someone is a tourist. I thought that through my journey to the big city, I’d learn a few things. But one of the most important things I’ve learned is the meaning of true friendship. This, I was not prepared to learn.

I have always had lots of friends. Girls and boys. Friends I could laugh with. Friends I could cry with. Friends I could just be myself around. I moved out to San Francisco knowing no one. Not a soul. But I was confident in myself, my dreams and I had encouragement from all my friends. I wasn’t afraid because I knew I had my friends back in Colorado.

Since I’ve moved, I’ve grown apart from several friends. Distance is a difficult obstacle to overcome when trying to maintain a relationship. But I never thought that some of the people that I was so close to, would just…fade away. I hear things like, “I was busy,” “I was working,” “I was with my girlfriend.” I’m not a fan of excuses – never have been. I do understand being busy, I really do. And that’s ok for the first 3 unreturned phone calls.

It’s hard to maintain a friendship when life is getting in the way.

And to be honest, life should never get in the way. That’s what I’ve learned. When you have a true friend. When you have really bonded with someone and they and your relationship with them are the epitome of true friendship, life is the reason for your relationship. You have to call the other person because of your life. You cry to that person, laugh with that person, are there for that person and they’re there for you because of life.

Being busy causes us to prioritize what is important in our lives. It forces us to make time for those that we value. But what’s hard about this is you ultimately realize the people you value, may not value you back. It’s a tough realization and it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that some person, who you might consider a close friend, obviously and blatantly doesn’t shed you in the same light.

What you have to remember is friendship is a two-way street. It’s important in order to maintain a healthy relationship that both parties are participating in keeping the friendship alive equally. And if one person isn’t…

As hard as this may be, I’ve learned that all of this is ok.

Make new friends. Develop new relationships. The ones that matter from your past will stick with you in the future. No matter what. People change. People grow. And the important people grow with you even if you’re growing in different directions.

(I know I’m not the only one who might be going through this – check out my Friday Q&A from two weeks ago).

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This