In February, I had the pleasure of sipping a glass of red wine with Molly from Stratejoy, Nicole, Suki and Amy. First of all, these ladies are all amazing. Second of all, I would be surprised if Molly made it through one get together without asking a question that makes everyone think.
In the dimly lit dive bar on Polk St., Molly asked, “What do you want to do in 2011?” Then, naturally, we went around in a circle and each answered. I was surprisingly nervous — I hadn’t given much thought into it even being 2011 let alone what I wanted to accomplish. In fact, I was having trouble admitting it was already the end of February. So, my goal? What I want to do in 2011?
“I want to slow down,” I said. “Sometimes, life goes by so fast. With work and friends and boyfriend and dinners and gym time and, and, and, I want to take a break. Stop and see. Appreciate.”
Well, it’s April. April. And I’m still moving just as quickly as I was two months ago. If not quicker. It’s still work and friends and travel and plans and date nights and chores and there’s no time to breathe.
What’s my problem?
For starters, I’m always connected. In January, I made a pact with myself that I wouldn’t open my work computer after I left the office every night — unless there was a dire emergency. So now, I’m constantly checking my phone for emails, tweets, Facebook notices, making sure everything is alright. Not to mention the time I want to spent on the Internet reading my favorite blogs, making friends, building my personal presence.
I can’t sleep. I am constantly thinking of what I did that day, if it’s been done correctly, if I could have done it better, what I have to do tomorrow, how I can organize my day to accomplish everything, etc. etc. and then before I know it, my alarm is going off.
I try to make everyone happy. Even if that means going out when I want to stay in, skipping Bikram or the gym, or tiring myself out so much that I can never catch up on sleep. Overextending, party of one? And this all stems from the fact that….
I can’t say no. While I’m seriously working on this one, it’s still a huge challenge. There’s a difference between the things that I want to do and the things that I should do. And the things that are just too much but might make someone else happy.
What’s the solution?
Accountability. For one day, every week, I want to be accountable to no one but myself. I know that sounds selfish, but I want to do what I want to do for one day. Whether that’s spending time with girlfriends, the boyfriend, my cats, the gym, my roof, whatever, I will do it and I will do it for me. I will revisit what makes me happy and do that and only that.
That, and I need a vacation.
Also, new blog design/header coming soon!
Also, also, BIG exciting news coming next week!
Hey, Lady. Me, too. We need to not be so hard on ourselves.
Oh, man. That’s for sure. How can we help each other? Maybe a shift in accountability will be more helpful? Good to know we’re not alone 🙂
Slow down for you! You were right on when you said you will do what makes me happy….I am just glad that Ashlynn and I make you happy. I am glad that you are coming home for her party and that we still make you happy and coming home still makes you happy! You are coming so far in what you want in 2011…you are happy!!! 😉
Of COURSE you make me happy! I can’t wait to see you and Ashlynn and just be home for a few days. Home grounds me. And we need each other!
I wrote a post on the final day of 2010 called “Working on Living” – that post was a commitment to myself to make more (much more) time for ME. Last year was a whirlwind, starting a business, moving, getting married and everything in between – the last person I took care of was myself.
What I’ve found in 2011 is that you DO have time for yourself if you MAKE time for yourself. Your post today is a great reminder for people to take a step back and slow the heck down sometimes. Cheers!
Oh, and here’s the post in case you’re interested: http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/life/working-on-living/
I totally remember that post. I’d love to read a followup — how’s it going for you? Have you successfully slowed down and done things just for you? Any tricks, tips, trials, tribulations?
Thanks, as always, for the comment 🙂
Same way. Needed to read this today. You rock 🙂
And today? I didn’t do anything differently. I feel like I have to calendar “Lauren-time” and that just seems counter-intuitive 🙂
i love this. mainly because i’m an only child and i fully support and understand the necessity for taking time for yourself. i suppose i shouldn’t as an only child… but i do anyway. i call it maiah-time. and my friends know that during said “maiah-time” i will be completely unavailable. usually enjoying the company of some sorbet, a glass (bottle) of wine, and a wonderfully horrible romantic comedy.
enjoy yours!
Love it! I need some “Lauren-time” like, WHOA! 🙂 Thanks for the comment, Maiah. Always good to know we’re not alone.
Sounds like you need another Twilight Marathon day! #TEAMEDWARD
FO SHO. Only, #TeamJacob all the way.
Back in the day, the Jews had one day a week on which they did no work. They took this very seriously, even preparing all meal for that day, the day before. While I think they took it a little too far, it is still a good idea. We, as humanity, need some time to just step back and have some time for ourselves. Failure to do so often results in one burning out.
Long story short, good for you.
You’re absolutely right. Sometimes I wish I could still partake in a day COMPLETELY off. I’m doing my best, though!
Thanks for your comment, Ben 🙂