So, I decided to try a little something new on the ol’ blog. I seem to have been talking a lot about relationships lately, and I thought it would be interesting to get a male perspective on the world of dating. However, I didn’t expect to get quite the response that I got.

When I asked Josh to write a guest post for my blog because I wanted a male perspective, he was excited. We were discussing the possibilities and decided on the idea of a guy trying to date a girl and ending up in the “friend zone.” How do you get there? Why do you get there? What do you have to do to avoid getting “friended?”

His post came back a little aggressive for my taste, so I’ve taken his post word for word, and turned this into a little point/counterpoint. Hope you enjoy!

First let me thank Lauren for the opportunity and challenge to contribute to her blog. Hopefully I can become a semi occasionally guest contributor to balance her blog with a male perspective.

The question: How long to guys have to make their move until a woman sees them as just a friend?  The underlying reason for this question is why guys seem so hesitant to make a move on a girl they like, which is an interesting question. I have some experience with this situation both positive and negative. I have found myself in situations where I played it cool too long or was to aggressive and for various reasons was unsuccessful with my pursuits. However the reasoning behind a guy’s actions is slightly complicated and depends on the situation he finds him-self in and the circumstances that led him to the courtship of a woman.

First let me preface this answer by establishing a few facts:

Keep in mind that these “facts” that Josh speaks of are his opinion. They are in no way deemed factual representations of what all men think or feel or what is right. Carry on.

1. Guys are “female” stupid no matter how educated they are. So, no matter how cute and coy you think you are being and how awesome your subtle signs are, chances are if you have a guy that’s reluctant to make a move, he probably doesn’t know you like him. Again, guys are simple. They don’t pick up on signs and hints very well. They relish the obvious. They like a chase but they need something to chase.

Now, I am not a “game-player.” I don’t like to play hard-to-get and I don’t like to be toyed with. However, I have to agree with Josh on this one. Even if a guy or a girl says they don’t like games, that doesn’t mean that you throw yourself at them. You have to leave a little mystery. Mystery is what intrigues a man or a woman and keeps them interested in you. Don’t toy with someone’s emotions, but just don’t reveal all of yours all at once. However, I feel that games and relationships are somewhat linked. What are games? They entail goals, rules, challenges and interactions. It’s how you play the “game” that will get you the right end result.

2. Guys don’t want girls that are just friends. Guys have a saying that a friend that’s a girl is just someone you haven’t slept with yet. Yes it’s very pigheaded and very ignorant but in a way it’s very true. Guys never enter into a relationship with a girl because they want to be “friends”, it’s just something that results in a failed attempt at something else. Case in point: Two of my best friends are female. I love them both dearly. One was a girl I had long courtship with butwe became just friends and the other never got passed date one but now we are good friends. The point is that I didn’t want to be just friends with either of these women. I wanted to sleep with these girls and form a romantic relationship. In both cases I accepted friendship as a consolation prize in hopes of maybe becoming more (never happens) and eventually just got used to being friends. Don’t get me wrong, I love both dearly and cherish our friendship but my ego is still bruised.

This is kind of a tough one. It’s walking a thin line between really pissing me off and a somewhat valid argument. I do think that women are just as sexually charged as men. But, some of my very best friends are guys. And perhaps, the trick is that women are able to view guys as just friends right off the bat and men are unable to do so. I’d love to hear some other male thoughts on this. And friendship as a consolation prize? That little comment doesn’t even warrant my response.

3. Women control sex, but guys have to be the aggressors. Women know with the first 10 minutes of meeting a guy if the potential for sex exists. Women like to act like they have more class then men but they see men the same way men see women. They know just by looking at the guy, seeing his stature and his presence how sexually virile they are. They want the man to come over and talk to them. They want to be wooed and charmed. Sure, a guy’s interest might be more animalistic but the intent remains the same. Now it is true that a guy can shoot himself in the foot while a woman can’t. Each guy has a different tolerance level for what crosses the line to make a woman unattractive but it’s a hard line to cross. Versus a woman’s line is very easily crossed. One unsmooth move, one bad joke, one inappropriate comment and the guy has struck out. That’s why women control sex. If women thought like men the population would boom while Trojan and Durex would go out of business. It’s a good thing women control sex.

Even though women control sex they remain utterly confused about guys, which is dumbfounding because we are not that hard to understand. Understanding women is an entirely different animal. Even the brightest minds in the world remain completely dumbfounded about women. How any man scores remains a complete mystery. Either it’s by sheer luck of being in the right place at the right time, or the girl has made it easy to be solved. The problem lies in the fact that women say they want one thing but completely fall for the opposite. So it’s a crapshoot and it’s usually the guys that can bullshit the most that have the most success on a very minor scale.

Sex is complicated. Any way you look at sex, it’s complicated. It complicates potential relationships if it occurs “too soon.” It snuffs out potential relationships if it doesn’t occur “soon enough.” One person could expect more than sex while the other just wants to get laid. I agree that it’s a “crapshoot” but that’s what makes communication crucial. So, maybe the problem is that guys spend their time bullshitting as Josh eludes to, instead of actually communicating therefore they don’t have “success.” Hm.

There is no understanding “women” because we are all individuals. Just like some men are hard to understand as well. We are all individual people. No woman wants the same thing. It’s important to spend more time talking to the person of interest getting to know what they want and stop analyzing women as a whole.

This concept of sexual aggression is very dependent on the situation. The situation in which you met the guy and the situations you find yourself in while initially dating the guy. There’s two ways that a guy pursues a women. Either she’s a girl for the night or a girl for the next day. Different girls have different playbooks. Thus aggression levels are going differ depending how the guy sees you.

Playbooks? Games? BAH! Why don’t you materialize girls a little more. Yeah. That’ll get you laid. Not to mention, when you dump women into two categories, you’re limiting yourself and ruling other possibilities out.

A girl for the night is usually a one night stand, booty call, friends with benefits or a fling type of a relationship. Since we were little boys our mothers have been telling us that wives don’t give it up on the first night. It’s not an instant gratification pursuit. It’s a long term investment. Thus a guy decides early on in his pursuit if it’s a quest for the Holy Grail or the quest for the hot jeans. In this first situation aggression is pretty clear. Just like a lion hunting his prey you have to act quick and hard in order to obtain your feast.

Nice. Now women are being equated to prey. This is why dating is so God-damned hard.

Aggression shows confidence and sexual virility and that’s the very essence of man. That’s his ego coming out and showboating. Often times this aggression and forwardness is aided with the help of alcohol or drugs and by the same sense the woman’s guards and standards are lowered by the aid of alcohol and drugs. If you’re a girl that met their mate in this type of situation, chances are the long term viability of the relationship is not good. There’s a chance that it could turn into more, but that’s more because the guy can get comfortable and lazy with you and is that what you REALLY want?

The second situation is the more traditionally preferred way of meeting a man. This is also the most emotionally dangerous for women and the biggest gamble for men. When it’s just about sex, guys are typically more aggressive. When they have to start rationalizing their feelings and have deeper emotional ties with a female, then the gamble becomes bigger because their ego is more at risk. This is why guys seem more hesitant to make a move and their “female” stupidity takes larger effect.

In the first situation a guy basically just brazenly throws his dick on the table to play all his cards, because if his offer is rejected he can just move onto option #2. This situation is a little more risky because your emotions for the girl are going to affect his ego more. He’s not just going to take a risky gamble and get rejected. He needs a clear sign that his advance is going to be openly received. This is where guys fail to see subtle signs and hidden vibes from women. A guy in this situation is going to be reluctant unless he finds himself in a golden opportunity to minimize the collateral damage associate with his ego taking a shot to the chops. A golden opportunity would be a situation where you and him are either alone at home or in a public place without a lot of group interaction. The chances of a guy making a move where he is highly likely to be embarrassed being rejected is very slim. So if you’re waiting for a guy to make a move you need to present him with these golden opportunities for him to take advantage of. Trust me that a guy is going to be as forward and aggressive as you want him to be after that initial move is made. However, if he fails to take advantage of these golden opportunities, than my friends you might have a sissy boy on your hands.

This last paragraph is very insightful. Guys have egos (we all have egos) and I can only imagine the fear of rejection they have when they’re approaching a girl they actually like. But, you have to take into consideration, that with all the other bullshit Josh explained guys pull, it’s just as difficult for a girl to determine whether or not the guy is actually being honest in his pursuit and we’re not just getting tricked into bed. All of this is what makes dating and relationships so complicated. So game-like. Such a gamble with your heart.

I do, however, believe that if we all can get past the immature games, mind-tricks and overanalyzing, the potential for men and women to be in a successful relationship is quite possible. In my opinion, men and women are a lot more similar than they seem. I think women tend to fear letting out their bluntness and their opinions on sex for fear that men will categorize them into an unkind box, which has been proven true above.

So, I watch the Bachelor. Don’t judge me.

I find the concept of the show very interesting. The idea that multiple women fall in love with the same man in an extremely short period of time, the man is supposed to pick one of these women and propose and they live happily ever after, is crazy. But apparently, it happens. And for some, it works.

This season, I fell in love with Ali. She was a “contestant” and an extremely bubbly, cute, funny girl that lives in San Francisco. She has a magnetic personality and it was apparent that Jake (this season’s bachelor) felt the same way.

Ali made it all the way to the final four girls. It was then, hours before the Rose Ceremony (when the bachelor eliminates one girl) that Ali was faced with a choice deemed one of the most difficult decisions of her life. She was forced to choose between going back to work and losing Jake, or being fired from her job and possibly be chosen as Jake’s wife. The reality of this is bleak: Jake was dating and falling for three other women.

Ali went to Jake with the news. She was obviously very upset and torn as to what to do. She weighed her options for him and he was (obviously) unable to give her the reassurance and guarantee that she was seeking. How could he? He was on a television show and, like I said, falling for three other women at the same time. (However, Jake proposing to Ali right then and there would have made for some damn good TV).

After much deliberation and many tears, Ali chose to leave and go back to the job she loves. That episode made me think. Ali loves her job. She is very successful and independent and career-driven. She was faced with the choice of giving up something that she loves, something that is a huge part of her life (finances her life as well) for the possibility of ending up with Jake. For the possibility that he would choose her in the end. For the possibility of getting married and living happily ever after. Her job was the safe choice. Her job was a guarantee.

If I were in that same situation, I would do the same thing.

While I don’t know Ali very well, I think we are a lot alike. She appeared on the Bachelor: The Women Tell All Monday night and said many things that I couldn’t agree more with.

While making her decision, she weighed the possibilities in her mind. She said that when she wasn’t getting the reassurance she wanted, the guarantee she deserved, that, “if what I was feeling was real, it didn’t matter. The show didn’t matter. Even if I left, he would come find me…and, he didn’t.”

But work? She chose work over love? This is where it gets scary similar:

“One thing that I do in real life is I don’t really deal with my emotions. Instead of dealing with them, I just bury myself in work. That’s where I go when I want to block out everything else in my life. It’s my defense mechanism. It’s where I go when I’m scared and it helps me get through things. And I was scared. I was scared of getting my heart broken, I was scared of giving up my whole life for someone who could just turn me down in the end. And more so, I was scared of Jake feeling like he owed it to me. I truly believe that our life is measured by the risks we take, even coming to meet Jake in the first place was a risk.”

I. Do. The. Same. Thing. I work. I work hard. Especially when things in my life are a little “topsy-turvy.” Work keeps me busy, keeps my mind off other things. I turn to work as an escape, too.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t envision these circumstances occurring in real life. (Ideally) I will not be falling in love with someone who is seriously dating and potentially falling in love with several other women. I will (ideally) never be uncertain about the way a man feels about me. I will (ideally) never have to wonder whether he will “pick” me. But the idea based on her decision; work vs. love, is incredibly fascinating to me. And while I work my butt off, and love love love my job, I wonder if it affects the way I view relationships. Do I view my life as being an either or? Either I’m successful at my job or I have a successful relationship? Can’t I have my cake and eat it, too? Is it possible to be dedicated to both a relationship and my job? This goes way back to another post but they’re all good questions.

“I am the biggest advocate of women going out there and having careers. One thing I know though, is that when I’m on my deathbed I don’t want to look back on my life and say I didn’t love enough. I’m making a point in my life to put love first. If I worked as hard at my relationships and at love as I do my job, I think I’d be a lot more successful at my relationships.”

Personally, I think the answers lie in balance. As hard as it is (and I don’t even know the half of it) it’s important to maintain a work-life balance in order to achieve true happiness and success in all aspects of your world. It’s important to work hard, strive for greatness, and dedicate yourself to your job. To a certain point. Because you, your life, your friends, your relationships are just as important if not more than the people that pay your bills.

I envision this being a challenge for me. Forever. When I work, I work 100 percent. When I’m in a relationship, I love 100 percent. But I do understand the importance of both being able to coincide peacefully and productively. And I’ll do it. Without losing any of my independence.

“The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”

I’ve learned many things since I’ve moved to San Francisco. I’ve learned that living alone is incredible. I’ve learned that work and the “real world” is a lot harder than I thought it would be – but it’s also even more rewarding. I’ve learned that I should always look both ways before crossing the street. I’ve learned that cab drivers are generally insane. I’ve learned that winters are rainy and fall is beautiful in the city (and I can’t wait for spring). I’ve learned how to tell when someone is a tourist. I thought that through my journey to the big city, I’d learn a few things. But one of the most important things I’ve learned is the meaning of true friendship. This, I was not prepared to learn.

I have always had lots of friends. Girls and boys. Friends I could laugh with. Friends I could cry with. Friends I could just be myself around. I moved out to San Francisco knowing no one. Not a soul. But I was confident in myself, my dreams and I had encouragement from all my friends. I wasn’t afraid because I knew I had my friends back in Colorado.

Since I’ve moved, I’ve grown apart from several friends. Distance is a difficult obstacle to overcome when trying to maintain a relationship. But I never thought that some of the people that I was so close to, would just…fade away. I hear things like, “I was busy,” “I was working,” “I was with my girlfriend.” I’m not a fan of excuses – never have been. I do understand being busy, I really do. And that’s ok for the first 3 unreturned phone calls.

It’s hard to maintain a friendship when life is getting in the way.

And to be honest, life should never get in the way. That’s what I’ve learned. When you have a true friend. When you have really bonded with someone and they and your relationship with them are the epitome of true friendship, life is the reason for your relationship. You have to call the other person because of your life. You cry to that person, laugh with that person, are there for that person and they’re there for you because of life.

Being busy causes us to prioritize what is important in our lives. It forces us to make time for those that we value. But what’s hard about this is you ultimately realize the people you value, may not value you back. It’s a tough realization and it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that some person, who you might consider a close friend, obviously and blatantly doesn’t shed you in the same light.

What you have to remember is friendship is a two-way street. It’s important in order to maintain a healthy relationship that both parties are participating in keeping the friendship alive equally. And if one person isn’t…

As hard as this may be, I’ve learned that all of this is ok.

Make new friends. Develop new relationships. The ones that matter from your past will stick with you in the future. No matter what. People change. People grow. And the important people grow with you even if you’re growing in different directions.

(I know I’m not the only one who might be going through this – check out my Friday Q&A from two weeks ago).

San Francisco is magic.

I can’t even begin to describe the way I felt the first time I stepped onto a San Francisco sidewalk. Love at first sight doesn’t cut it.

Two summers ago I came to San Francisco on a girl’s trip with my grandmother. It was then, the second I stumbled out of the airport shuttle, that I knew. The city spoke to me. No. The city screamed to me. I couldn’t get out here fast enough.

I loved Colorado. I still do. But San Francisco makes my heart stop. The city, the people, the diversity, the food, the ocean, the buildings, everything about this city is effervescent. Never have I been anywhere so vibrant and alive.

I’m not sure anyone back home realized how serious I was about moving here. Not only was I still in school, but I was also graduating in the worst economy. The idea of me having enough money to move and live in an extremely expensive city was absurd. Finding a job? Yeah, right. That was challenge enough for me.

After visiting for a week over spring break of last year, I couldn’t wait. The city entrapped me.

I graduated and began the job hunt. Three weeks after the start of my job search, I became the luckiest girl in the world. I was offered two jobs, from out of state, without having physically met either company. One of which, was my dream job. In a whirlwind, I was out here two weeks later. Who knew my dream would come true in every way possible.

I’ve been here a little over six months and I am even more in love with the city as I was before. There are so many people, from all over the world, doing so many interesting things. San Francisco is the kind of place that embraces each of these people. It’s a city of unlimited exploration. I’ve barely scratched the surface.

So, what do I love about SF so far?

Check out the rest of the post and photos on I Live Here:SF!

A BIG thanks to Julie for letting me play with her site design! What an awesome experience!

Today is the first Friday of my Question and Answer weekly series! It’s starting a little slow… (two questions to be exact) but I am confident that it will pick up! Just a refresher: I have added an “Ask Lauren” tab to the top of my blog. There, you can ask me any question you want and I will answer it honestly. You can also leave comments or suggestions there as well!

Ask away!

On to this week’s questions.

Question 1 from Josh: So my question for you Lauren is when are you going to buy me a ticket so I can come out to San Fran and visit you?  Haha.

Answer: As soon as you put a check in the mail for the cost of a plane ticket. I also accept PayPal if you feel more comfortable with that.

Question 2 from Ashley: If you could have dinner with a famous but deceased person, who would it be and what would you talk about?  Why that person?

Answer: I would have dinner with Marilyn Monroe. I have always admired her (covered my walls with pictures of her in college). She was and still is such a strong icon for women. She spend the majority of her childhood in orphanages and foster homes. And then she transformed her life into becoming an idol for all women. Yes, she was a sex symbol. But what’s unique about her is that she wasn’t a size zero. She was a confident, vibrant spirit and I think she would be a total blast to have dinner with.

Thanks to Josh and Ashley for the questions! Keep ‘em comin’!

As many of you know, it was my Birthday last week. It wasn’t a big Birthday or anything (although gifts are still being accepted), but, like every Birthday, I took a step back and thought about the past year. And about getting older in general. I know, I know, I’m young, I have my whole life ahead of me. But with every year that goes by, I notice all the changes.

I notice that my “little” brother is in his second semester of his Freshman year in college. I can’t believe he’s growing up so fast. He’s actually asking me for advice on apartments for next year. That makes me feel old.

I notice that my parents are getting older (however, they both act extremely young). But now they’re both at least 50-years-old. I looked at some old family photos – it’s amazing how we’ve all changed.

I notice that my grandparents are getting older. They’ve always been “young at heart” and they always will be, but as the years go by, I notice the little things.

My friends are getting married/having babies. And it’s actually acceptable. We’re not “too young” anymore. That’s crazy to me.

I notice a lot of things about myself. Like how I’ve settled down a bit (except for my trip to Vegas last weekend…) and I don’t “party-hardy” as much as I probably should (and will try to do more of from here on out). I have a real job – one that I wake up and go to every day and walk home from every night. It’s not quite a “nine-to-five” but it’s close enough.

A former classmate (who is a year younger than me) told me the other day that he was going to be in San Francisco over the summer. I was, of course, excited to have someone that I know out here for a bit. He said, “So, I’m going to be in San Francisco for the summer, are you still going to be out there?” I paused, then replied, “Uh, yeah. I live here.” This isn’t a semester-long internship like I had in college. This isn’t a temporary situation. I live here. And sometimes I wake up in the morning and look around me and still can’t believe I’m here. And I’ve been here for over six months.

It’s incredible how fast the time flies. And sometimes, I like to just take a minute and stop – take a look at the life I’m living. How I got here. How to get to where I want to go.

In related news, my Birthday celebration was incredible. My dad flew out to San Francisco on my Birthday and took me and a couple girls out to dinner. He was the “pimp daddy” surrounded by four young, beautiful women. ☺ Dad stayed until Friday, then he left for Denver and I left to meet my mom in Las Vegas. Oh man. I love Vegas. In fact, I’m still recovering from sleep deprivation, intense alcoholic dehydration, and pole-dancing injuries. Don’t ask. I won’t tell. But I can tell you that I have a newfound respect for the physical strength of strippers.

All in all, Birthday success.

Vi.sualize.us Photo Credit

I went to Borders yesterday to use a coupon. I love bookstores. In fact, I could spend days in a bookstore. I love the way they smell, the sounds, the fact that I’m surrounded by so much more than just, me. Anyway, I digress. I walked into Borders and on the very first table (yeah, I’m one of those people that stop at each table and peruse the “recommended readings” and wonder to myself if they really are all they’re cracked up to be) is a book that’s entire cover is filled with text. Intrigued, I picked it up and read the cover.

I’m sorry, I lost interest in your message after the first paragraph and couldn’t be bothered to finish it. No doubt it was very clever and devastating and if it makes you feel good, please consider me abashed or chagrined or whatever it was you intended me to feel after reading your brilliant, scintillating words. In the meantime, allow me to congratulate you on your decision not to breed, as clearly a person of your qualities represents a full stop on the genetic paragraph; the evolution of your line need go no further.

Your Hate Mail Will be Graded - John Scalzi

A little disclaimer: First of all, this is sarcasm and I know that. No, I did not read the entire book. Heck, I didn’t even read the back cover. But if you’ve been around these parts for a while now, you know that I gain meaning from just about anything.

These words got me thinking. I have been a writer since the fifth grade. I love to write. As social media slowly overtook the world, I began to use my blog to cultivate my writing. I have since then expanded my reach and also have allowed myself to be affected by other’s blogs. I read blogs to learn, get ideas, laugh and so much more. I can’t even explain in words how much I gain from reading blogs every day. But the words of Scalzi worry me. Albeit sarcasm, there is truth in joking and these words make me wonder about whether my words on my little blog are “brilliant” and “scintillating.” Whether I am, in fact, making an impact on my readers like the blogs I follow are to me. It makes me think about writing in general and how the Internet has changed writing over the past couple years.

For example, when I was a freshman in college (2005) I joined what was then the Campus Press. I was a wet-behind-the-ears reporter ready to go out there and make a difference in the world with my writing. I would write drafts and drafts and drafts of my pieces before submitting them to my editor who would then make edits and I’d write even more drafts of the same piece. I would perfect my writing before anyone (other than my editor, and sometimes a parent) would see it.

Now, with the Internet being the prevailing entity of communication, I feel writing gets pushed to the wayside. I fire off emails without using spell check. I tweet 140 characters with, sometimes, mortifying spelling errors. I publish blog posts with grammar errors and fragmented sentences (which I swear is a stylistic choice). We all do. Now. But I go back and change every single one. I go back and change every error (that I’m aware of), I correct myself when I’m wrong, I don’t publish half-assed blog posts, I put thought into what I write. I’ve always been taught to think before I speak. I treat writing the same way. Especially with the Internet – it’s permanent no matter how badly we want to believe it’s not. Everything we publish is out there. Forever. That’s the beauty of it.

The Internet has been filled with so much spam and nonsense and I think that a lot of people don’t take the time to weed through the sludge to find the real gems. And that’s unfortunate. There are a lot of people out there, just like me, who still take pride in their writing. I have been blessed to meet, virtually and in real life, some of these fabulous writers that don’t fall into the stereotype of “nonsense-bloggers.” That still value the art of words. That write to provide something for everyone. That are out there to affect and change people’s lives – one letter at a time.

It’s actually fitting that this is my 100th post on my beloved blog (for all of you who are still here reading, thank you!). Today, something very interesting happened in my side of the blogosphere. The lovely Miss Lizzy Marie of It’s Unbeweavable won the 20 Something Bloggers’ Featured blogger of the month. This is incredible and I do not know of anyone more deserving of this honor.

However, amidst Liz’s undeniable excitement, a certain someone deemed it appropriate to rain on her day. I’m not going to go into details of how he did this, but let me just say, it hurt me in a deep way to see someone so quick to judge one of the most amazing people I have ever known.

I, among many others, came to Liz’s rescue, showing this certain someone that she has many, many people on her side supporting her.

See, I have always loved to write. Blogging has given me the opportunity to reach others. To write for myself, but so others can hear and be affected. I have always believed that words are incredibly powerful - they can affect the lives of others. That, alone, is why I write. That, alone, is why I blog.

Liz is one of the most open, honest and entertaining writers I have ever encountered. She talks about real-life stuff that so many people can relate to. Not to mention, she is a wonderful friend. I am so blessed to have found her in this huge blogging universe.

So, I stood up for her. That someone who ruined Liz’s day and represented everything I hate about stereotypes, insensitivity, disrespect and ignorance, posted a blog post about the events of the day, and I, among many others, responded. Here is what I said:

I know I don’t know you, so I won’t assume that these comments are falling on deaf ears. However, I just wanted to reiterate what many other people are saying. It was wrong of you to judge Liz with little to no information. I know you know this, thus your apology, however, I wanted to share a little story.

I joined the blogging universe almost a year ago. I joined because I love to write. I love to write about anything and everything that moves me. That’s what is so wonderful and free about blogs and the Internet in general. I have met some amazing people (both male and female) through their blogs, and Liz is one of them.

I stumbled upon Liz’s blog in the usual way, you know, following some links and such. On that particular day, she had published a blog post that linked back to a previous post from a few months back about being single, combatting loneliness and not settling for less than one deserves in a relationship. Liz’s open and emotional writing reached out to me, touched me, affected me, and helped me through a tough time in my own life. I reached out to her to let her know her words inspired me and how much I appreciated her honesty and openness. We’ve been very close friends ever since. That’s the beauty of writing and why I like to write - you can touch people’s lives just by being honest about your own. I admire Liz for that and I encourage you to embrace the idea that there’s something, someone, some blog, out there for everyone and Liz’s, while it may stray from your personal taste, can and obviously does touch the lives of many. She deserves this award.

I sincerely hope that this has been a learning experience for you as you go on your own respective journey defining yourself and your writing. Never underestimate the power of words - whether positive or negative, yours or others’.

Let this lesson that he (hopefully) learned be a lesson to all. Whether blogging, writing, speaking, etc., choose your words wisely because you never know who’s life you are affecting with each one.

Oh, and don’t mess with my girl.

As the New Year approaches, it seems as though it’s a theme in the blogosphere to be writing about their New Year resolutions. Yes… I want to join a gym, lose 20 pounds, be a better person, blah blah blah. But let’s be real here for a second.

My 2009 was a whirlwind. To say the least.

I turned 22, which doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I suddenly wasn’t 21 anymore. I wasn’t “just able to drink” anymore. It was really the first Birthday that I felt older. Don’t laugh. I know I’m young and I have the whole world ahead of me, but it was an interesting feeling.

My second semester senior year (spring of 2009) I became the Editor-in-chief of the CU Newspaper. This was such an incredible experience and literally shaped my knowledge as I graduated in May. I learned so much about journalism, teaching, leadership, friendship, motivation, inspiration, dedication, some other “tions” that I don’t even know yet, and most of all, it helped me learn about myself and the kind of person and work ethic I have developed over the years.

I graduated college. It’s weird to say, but I knew I was going to graduate when I started my freshman year at CU. But, it was amazing and somewhat surprising that graduation day had actually arrived. I did it. I studied hard and graduated from the School of Journalism and Mass Communication at CU. You can see a collection of memories throughout my college career here.

My brother graduated from high school. This amazes me. Not because I didn’t think he could do it, but because my little (younger – since he’s technically bigger than me) was going to be a college student. He was going to take my place as a CU Buffalo. And I know college boys…I wasn’t ready for him to be one of those.

I got a job two months after I graduated college. Despite most everyone’s pessimism when it came to me applying for jobs, I landed not one, but two jobs. One of which happened to be my dream job that I took without a second thought. I did it. I created my reality and began the journey to make my dreams come true.

I moved to San Francisco. After accepting my dream job at Context Optional, I had two weeks to pack my stuff, find a place to live in San Francisco, sign a lease, get keys, and move all of my belongings over 1200 miles away from where I grew up. As you know, this move was the biggest change in my life. Ever. You can read about it: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

I was the Maid of Honor at my best friend’s wedding. Holy hell was that weird. I never thought I would be old enough when marriage was actually acceptable and not deemed “inappropriate.” Being the Maid of Honor require a lot of work – from planning a Bachellorette Party to giving wedding toasts, it was definitely an incredible experience. And I couldn’t be happier for my best friend in the world.

My mom sold our childhood house. This was especially challenging for me as I was in San Francisco and was unable to give my house a proper goodbye. There were so many memories made within the walls of that house that it was hard to let it go. But, in the end, it was the best decision for my mom and that’s what matters.

I went on my first business trip. This was an incredible learning experience for me. Whilst working primarily within the social sphere, I feared I had lost my ability to interact face-to-face. This business trip taught me how to listen, consider and respond while in the midst of a fast paced work environment. I have fine-tuned my brainstorming skills and ability to convey ideas in person and would encourage any of you other “social nerds” to get out there and do the same.

I travelled out of the country to Jamaica. After my first six months in the working world, and after picking up my whole life and moving to a city where I knew no one, it was definitely nice to get away to paradise for a week.

As you can see, whirlwind doesn’t even begin to describe the year I’ve had. But it’s been amazing. I’ve accomplished some of my biggest goals and when I sit down and think about 2010 and what the future holds for me, I can’t help but smile and think, “I don’t know how 2010 can be any better than 2009.”

This year, I spent the week of Christmas nestled between the lush mountains and the warm Caribbean waters, in Jamaica. It’s hard for me to even put into words how incredible the trip was, but I’ll try.

Saying that the trip got off to a rough start is an understatement. Here’s a rough timeline of my oh-so-pleasant airport experience:

9 p.m. – Arrive at SFO for my 10:45 p.m. flight to Atlanta.

9:05 p.m. – Get in line at the Delta check-in counter (the line was abnormally long).

9:25 p.m. – Reach the front of the line, approach the counter to check in with a Delta representative who I will later determine is named Joseph.

9:30 p.m. – “Do you have your passport?” Joseph says.

9:31 p.m. – “My parents have my passport. They’re meeting me in Atlanta and will give me the passport in Atlanta,” I respond, my voice trembling.

9:31:02 p.m. – “You’re not going to Atlanta.”

9:32 p.m. – Silence. Running options through my head.

9:34 p.m. – “There’s nothing you can do? It’s a domestic flight to Atlanta – not to Jamaica yet. There has to be something you can do!” I start to panic.

9:36 p.m. – “Nope. Your final destination is International, therefore, you need your passport. Sorry,” Joseph exclaimed as he slammed a piece of paper with the customer service number scribbled on it.

9:37 p.m. – Call Dad.

9:38 p.m. – Dad is cussing. Dad wants to talk to Joseph.

10:00 p.m. - Dad talks to Joseph. Joseph hands me back the phone when Dad is in the middle of a sentence. Great.

10:01 p.m. – Tell Dad I’ll call him back. Approach Joseph. Batting eyelashes and tears welling up in my eyes I say, “Isn’t there anything you can do? Isn’t there a way to split the tickets or something?”

10:03 p.m. – It appears as if Joseph does, in fact, have a heart as he explains what needs to be done and that I need to call the customer service number he gave me because it is a ticketing issue.

10:05 p.m. – Dial customer service.

10:40 p.m. – Reach customer service, hand phone to Joseph who makes the arrangements for me to fly domestically to Atlanta at 6 a.m. (I had obviously missed this 10:45 p.m. flight) and then fly to Montego Bay, Jamaica shortly there after, arriving in Jamaica at 7:30 p.m. instead of earlier that afternoon. Ok. Great. That’ll be $1,053.

10:45 p.m. – Call Dad. He calms me down. Says it’s not a big deal, it’s more important that I’m there.

So. I sit at the airport for nine hours waiting for my 6 a.m. flight just so I can go to Atlanta, pick up my passport my parents were leaving for me at customer service, get my bag from baggage claim, re-check in, go through security again, and get on a plane to Montego Bay. Bottom line: I did the same exact thing I would have done had I gotten on the original flight but 10 times more difficult and $1,053 more expensive.

Lessons learned:

1. Arrive at the airport the full three hours prior to an international flight

2. Make sure you have all proper documentation – including a passport, at least 48 hours prior to your flight.

3. Check the expiration date of your passport – it needs to be valid for six months after your scheduled departure date.

4. Kill ‘em with kindness. If you’re faced with a problem, the best thing to do is be nice. If you panic and start yelling at customer service representatives, they will not help you. Be nice and patient and they will help you reach a resolution.

After a five-hour flight to Atlanta and a three-hour flight to Montego Bay, Jamaica, I made it to the resort to be greeted by my family in the lobby. And, they had a surprise! We stayed at the Iberostar Resort in which there are three resorts within the property: the Beach Resort, the Suites and the Grand. Not only was my family thrilled I had made it to the resort safe and sound, but we had been upgraded to the Grand Hotel! The Grand is an all-inclusive (like the others) hotel that is 18+. That means, no kids running around the beach, splashing in the pool, or hokey pokey on the pool deck every afternoon. This was going to be true relaxation.

Immediately after my arrival, I dropped my bags off my room (shared with my brother) and headed toward the buffet. Oh man. The buffets were incredible in this all-inclusive resort. They offered the “normal” hamburgers and sandwiches but also the authentic Jamaican food like baked plantains and jerk chicken.

Exhausted after the last 24 hours, I meandered my way back to the room to unpack. The room was seriously gorgeous – beautiful granite bathroom complete with a glass rain shower, separate toilet room, two separate sinks and mirrors, and plenty of storage. There were two full-sized beds, a seating area with a lounge chair and an incredible deck with another chair, coffee table, end table and swing. It was our palace for the week.

The first three days were cloudy and rainy. This was kind of disappointing, but it allowed us to really relax. There was nothing to do, so we did just that: nothing. I finished my first book of the trip, My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler. Even though it was cloudy, it was still hot and humid so we were able to spend time outside when it wasn’t raining. We spent some time in the gym working out. We visited the Rose Hall Shoppes – a string of duty-free stores (mostly jewelry). And thanks to my Dad and Laurie, I was able to get an incredible relaxing 50-minute massage.

Every night we were wined and dined at the resort’s finest restaurants – Sunday at a Mexican restaurant, Monday (my parent’s anniversary) at the Surf n’ Turf restaurant, and Tuesday night at the Japanese (or “Blackanese” as the Hibachi chef called it) restaurant.

The resort also had a “Disco” which is a nightclub that’s open from 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. It was a blast! They played the top hip-hop and dance music from the US and also threw in some great Jamaican music as well. Once again, the open bar was trouble, but it was incredibly fun. I met a fair share of people at the Disco – a couple girls, some guys, and some Jamaican employees of the resort. (I’ll let you figure out who I spent the most time with… ). Every night there was also a show put on by the Entertainment Team at the hotel. There were singers and dancers and the shows were so terrible they were entertaining.

After three days of clouds, we woke up to crystal blue skies Wednesday morning. We spent the day laying out, soaking in the gorgeous sun amidst the palm trees, the warm saltwater beach and, of course, the pool bar. It was heavenly. We did nothing but relax by the pool, play some volleyball and swim in the ocean. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend the days. These Jamaican beaches were unlike any beach I have ever been to before. The water was crystal clear and surprisingly warm, the sand was pure white and incredibly soft, it was pure perfection. I was able to finish book two of the trip, Love the one You’re With by Emily Giffin.

Wednesday was my dad’s Birthday so we went to the Gourmet restaurant and enjoyed some delicious food. Overall, despite past experiences with poor food at all-inclusive resorts, the food was outstanding. And you can’t beat all-inclusive, top-shelf alcohol. That’s just icing on the cake right there.

Thursday and Friday were spent in the sun as well. Every night, a different restaurant. Thursday night, we attended the Christmas Eve Gala which included incredible food and drinks. Friday, Christmas Day, I saw the unthinkable. The resort announced that Santa Claus was coming to the beach. I thought to myself, ok, it’s for the little kids and he’s going to walk up and sit in a chair and give the little kids presents. Well, I was only half right. Yes, Santa did sit in a chair and give the little kids at the resort presents. However, he did not walk. Oh no. The fat, black, Jamaican Santa Claus parasailed onto the beach. Due to the mass amounts of people watching this phenomenon, he was unable to land on the beach. So, he landed back on the boat (complete with two “elves”) and was then driven in a golf cart to his chair. It was ridiculous and amazing. Never before have I seen anything like that.

Friday night was our last night on the island and my last night with the gorgeous Jamaican boy I met. Very sad, but incredibly memorable.

Saturday morning, we packed our bags and headed back to the states after an incredible vacation.

I feel as if I haven’t given this amazing vacation justice through the simple words of this blog post. I couldn’t have asked for a better vacation. It was exactly what I needed; a perfect combination of utter relaxation and memorable fun. I met some great people, of which I plan on keeping in touch with, and made some irreplaceable memories on the island of Jamaica. I was able to finish two books, spend ample time with my family, and drink my fair share of Jamaican rum. The best part of it all? I didn’t think about work, the computer, the Internet, Twitter, anything technology related. I completely unplugged. Not that I didn’t miss you, but it was so nice to get a break. It was a vacation for the books.

Make sure you check out the pictures here!