This past weekend I went to Boulder Bridal with one of my best friends. We went there to get her beautiful white wedding dress altered before her wedding in September. This trip to the store got me thinking. 

She looked beautiful in this dress. Like a princess. As I watched her twirl on the pedestal in front of four full-length mirrors, our entire past flashed through my memory. We were on a rollercoaster throughout high school and most of college – filled with good times and bad, relationships, family, friends, clubs, bars, movies, summers and so much more. It’s weird how we grow up and times change. 

I know of several people from my high school graduating class that are married or have children. It’s crazy to me. I never thought I would be at the age where marriage was “acceptable” and that I would know so many people getting married. ‘Tis the season, I suppose. 

But, what is the “acceptable” age to be getting married? What is too young? How long should you wait? Is there even a specific age that it suddenly becomes appropriate? 

For me, my twenties are about defining myself and proving to the world that I can take care of myself without a man. My twenties are about decoding my emotions, identifying what I want in a man, and truly figuring out who I want to be. I know I am going to change drastically throughout my twenties and the “Mr. Right” I think I’m looking for now will also change. After all, there’s a lot of growing up to do. 

When you meet someone and fall in love, there’s a “honeymoon” stage where you are consumed by warm, tingly feelings for each other. These feelings are important in marriage, but it’s even more important that you are clear about who you are individually and where you want to go with your live before you make such a huge commitment. I know that me, being a twenty-something woman, is still trying to figure out all of these things. And I probably will for a long time. Yes, I’ve grown since high school, of course. But, I am nowhere near the level at which I would feel comfortable saying, “’til death do us part.” 

However, all of this could change depending on who I meet. My best friend, for example, has never been the committed type. But she met her now fiancé and knew she was supposed to marry him. It’s different for everyone – you can’t control who you fall in love with or when you think you’re ready to make the commitment. 

There are a lot of things to think about before getting married, and I think, as long as people contemplating marriage think about all of these things and determine  they can be accomplished, maybe you’re good to go. 

1.       No matter how old you are, you need to seriously consider whether you and your partner are mature enough to handle the responsibility of marriage. Marriage is taking a relationship to a whole new level of commitment. The emotional, mental and physical needs of you and your partner can change or increase. 

2.       Can you make certain sacrifices in order to get along with or compromise with your partner? Relationships are full of compromise. It would be uncanny if you and your partner agree on everything. And, frankly, impossible. You need to be familiar with all their quirks, habits (both good and bad), their family, their friends – you have to really know them. And love them no matter what. 

3.       Marriage also introduces a new financial burden on the couple. When two people get married, “what’s mine is yours.” Individual finances are now combined and that adds another responsibility to the marriage plate. Especially when or if children are involved. According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, financial problems are the number two cause of divorce. Make sure money won’t tear you apart. 

4.       Where do you see yourself in ten years? How about in 20? Think about the life you want to be living when you are older – is the person you want to marry in it? Do you have a family? Are you happy? 

Nothing in life is predictable. Everyone must make choices that serve them the best. It’s no life but your own. Just make sure you’re ready to share your life with someone else.

As for me, I think I’ll wait.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has noticed the increase in racy ads on TV. Advertising and sex have been tied together since advertising really took off as a business. Sexually suggestive images are used to sell just about anything.

From the AXE campaign, the Lifestyles Skyn campaign, Clearasil, Herbal Essences, Carl’s Jr. to Guitar Hero, soft-core pornography is taking over family room TVs.

Is this appropriate? Necessary? Ethical?

These ads are directed toward teens or young adults. Is this really the image we want teens and young adults to see?

I can see both sides.

Yes: These ads are attention-grabbers

I’ll give ‘em that. Many of these ads depict real-life situations that teens and young adults face daily. Some argue that’s the entire point to these ads – to tell the audience that they’re not alone in what they are experiencing and there are healthy solutions.

For example, the new Lifestyles advertisement promotes safe sex and responsibility. However, the images used are extraordinarily graphic. Another however, the graphic images definitely grab the attention and have good intention.

Recently, MTV has been campaigning for everyone to get tested for STDs. They aired the movie Pedro, a story about a Real World contestant who later died of HIV. There have also been several advertisements for the Gardisil shot – the vaccine that prevents certain types of HPV, the most common STD among sexually active girls and can cause cervical cancer. These moving and sometimes uncomfortable messages are extremely valuable for people of all ages to hear.

The fact of the matter is that these issues are prevalent in today’s society. And, unfortunately, the age at which these ads become relevant decreases each year. When I was 15 things were different. And that wasn’t that long ago.

But the other question is: Should we be putting these graphic images into young minds?

This is similar to the debate about sex education in schools. Some argue that teachers should be realistic and teach how to have safe, protected sex. While others argue that schools should teach abstinence-only.

For me, abstinence only teachings seem a bit…let’s see…old fashioned. These days, kids are losing their virginities way earlier than we might think. It’s scary, really. Teaching that abstinence is the best policy is a good idea, but offering safe-sex options if one “chooses to forgo abstinence” is crucial.

However, these advertisements don’t exactly help the “abstinence is best” argument. These racy ads depict incredibly graphic sex scenes that can only put dirty ideas into young minds.

Should they only be offered on cable stations like HBO or SHOWTIME?

Who knows.

Honestly, the only solution to the issue at hand lies in parenting. It ultimately doesn’t matter whether your son or daughter has seen the racy ad on TV. What matters is if their parents have already talked to them about sex. If they’ve already opened the gateway to communication and made it okay for their son or daughter to talk to them about “uncomfortable” or “taboo” topics. That is what’s important.

Here are a couple links to the advertisements mentioned above. Viewer discretion is advised

AXE

Lifestyles

Herbal Essences

Clearisil

Carl’s Jr.

Guitar Hero