This past weekend I went to Boulder Bridal with one of my best friends. We went there to get her beautiful white wedding dress altered before her wedding in September. This trip to the store got me thinking. 

She looked beautiful in this dress. Like a princess. As I watched her twirl on the pedestal in front of four full-length mirrors, our entire past flashed through my memory. We were on a rollercoaster throughout high school and most of college – filled with good times and bad, relationships, family, friends, clubs, bars, movies, summers and so much more. It’s weird how we grow up and times change. 

I know of several people from my high school graduating class that are married or have children. It’s crazy to me. I never thought I would be at the age where marriage was “acceptable” and that I would know so many people getting married. ‘Tis the season, I suppose. 

But, what is the “acceptable” age to be getting married? What is too young? How long should you wait? Is there even a specific age that it suddenly becomes appropriate? 

For me, my twenties are about defining myself and proving to the world that I can take care of myself without a man. My twenties are about decoding my emotions, identifying what I want in a man, and truly figuring out who I want to be. I know I am going to change drastically throughout my twenties and the “Mr. Right” I think I’m looking for now will also change. After all, there’s a lot of growing up to do. 

When you meet someone and fall in love, there’s a “honeymoon” stage where you are consumed by warm, tingly feelings for each other. These feelings are important in marriage, but it’s even more important that you are clear about who you are individually and where you want to go with your live before you make such a huge commitment. I know that me, being a twenty-something woman, is still trying to figure out all of these things. And I probably will for a long time. Yes, I’ve grown since high school, of course. But, I am nowhere near the level at which I would feel comfortable saying, “’til death do us part.” 

However, all of this could change depending on who I meet. My best friend, for example, has never been the committed type. But she met her now fiancé and knew she was supposed to marry him. It’s different for everyone – you can’t control who you fall in love with or when you think you’re ready to make the commitment. 

There are a lot of things to think about before getting married, and I think, as long as people contemplating marriage think about all of these things and determine  they can be accomplished, maybe you’re good to go. 

1.       No matter how old you are, you need to seriously consider whether you and your partner are mature enough to handle the responsibility of marriage. Marriage is taking a relationship to a whole new level of commitment. The emotional, mental and physical needs of you and your partner can change or increase. 

2.       Can you make certain sacrifices in order to get along with or compromise with your partner? Relationships are full of compromise. It would be uncanny if you and your partner agree on everything. And, frankly, impossible. You need to be familiar with all their quirks, habits (both good and bad), their family, their friends – you have to really know them. And love them no matter what. 

3.       Marriage also introduces a new financial burden on the couple. When two people get married, “what’s mine is yours.” Individual finances are now combined and that adds another responsibility to the marriage plate. Especially when or if children are involved. According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, financial problems are the number two cause of divorce. Make sure money won’t tear you apart. 

4.       Where do you see yourself in ten years? How about in 20? Think about the life you want to be living when you are older – is the person you want to marry in it? Do you have a family? Are you happy? 

Nothing in life is predictable. Everyone must make choices that serve them the best. It’s no life but your own. Just make sure you’re ready to share your life with someone else.

As for me, I think I’ll wait.