Wowzers. It’s been one hell of a week. I don’t think I’ve ever been so inclined to say TGIF. But, hey, that’s why they came up with that acronym, right? For me!

This week has been a week of self-discovery. I apparently and inadvertently took a step back from my fast-paced city life and thought that this week, this week, would be a good week to let everything sink in. Thanks, BRAIN.

I’ve been in San Francisco for a little over four months now. Four months! Where the heck has the time gone? And that’s the point. That’s the exact point – my life has been a whirlwind. It’s been crazy and overwhelming and fast-paced and just plain wild. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved every second of it – but I haven’t really given myself a chance to breathe. To look around me, soak in the big, huge, monumental change I made in my life. I haven’t stopped and looked back. Not even once.

This week, though, was different. Everything caught up to me – feelings of loneliness, sadness, nostalgia, on top of excitement, anxiety and hopefulness. Oh, and don’t forget sleepy… I’ve been really, really sleep this week as well. Needless to say, it’s kind of been a clusterfuck.

Last night, I went to Bourbon and Branch with my (new) friend Adam. He waited downstairs for me while I was running late (per usual). I ran down the stairs and was already out of breath when he began giving me a hard time for leaving him out in the cold. The first thing I said? “Holy crap I’ve had a shitty day.”

With me being me, and Adam being Adam, my shitty day turned into an awesome night. First of all, Bourbon and Branch is a really cool place. You need a reservation and a password to get in. If you want to drink in “The Library” they take you through this secret passage which opens up to, well, a library. Their drinks are incredible – a little on the pricey side, but delicious nonetheless.

So, we get into “The Library” and we’re standing by the bar getting ready to order drinks and I hear my name. I think to myself, “meh, it’s not me…” and then I hear it again. I turn around and no way, get outta here, it’s Jen Chambers – a girl from Colorado that I went to elementary, middle and high school with. It was the definition of “it’s a small world.” So, we caught up, did the usual thing, but it was seriously so awesome to see her. Totally, randomly, awesome.

After reminiscing, Adam and I took a seat and he dug out the dirty details of my crappy day. I have to admit, it was nice to kind of “unload” everything that I have been feeling lately in regards to, well, really everything in my life. These feelings have been very hard to articulate because they are all very new to me. I’ve never picked up my whole life and moved to another city where I don’t know anyone. I’ve never been so far away from my family. I’ve never had no one. Making friends is not the easiest, and even though I’m trying, it’s a lot easier said than done. I work a lot. And the time that I don’t spend working, I spend sleeping. I am always tired. All of these experiences combined just sort of caught up to me in a flurry of insecurity and doubt and created a “what the hell am I doing here” feeling. Don’t worry, I’ve snapped out of it (for the most part).

I won’t go into the nitty gritty of the advice he gave me, but let’s just say, he got it. Funny thing is, many of the things that I am going through, Adam has been through or still is going through. It’s amazing when you explain your feelings in poorly articulated fragments and someone, a near stranger, just gets it.

There are things that I need to work on now that I’ve been out in San Francisco for four months. I’ve been doing awesome at work (if I do say so myself) and while it can be stressful at times, I truly love what I do. But work is all I do. Yes, I go drinking occasionally, I go exploring, I take photos, but as far as meeting new people goes? I am seriously lacking. I don’t know how to do it! I know, I know, you meet people through people through other people, but it’s not easy. It takes effort and energy and, most inconveniently, it takes telling the same highly abbreviated life-story over and over again.

But I have to do it. Otherwise, like Adam said, I’ll be here, in San Francisco, doing the same thing every day and still not having very many friends. In my opinion, friends are absolutely essential to a happy and healthy life. Now, don’t get all butt-hurt you Colorado friends, you. You will always be my best friends. You don’t have to worry about that. There’s just something different about tangible friendship, friendship you can reach out and touch – even if you guys still touch me every day through the phone.

I will embark on this entirely new journey after my last new journey starting, right now.

P.S. My dad comes to town tomorrow and I am SO SO SO excited! 🙂