This morning, I woke up to a Tweet. It wasn’t just the typical @reply or RT I usually wake up to. This Tweet lead me to a completely unexpected, unsolicited, but not at all unrequited #blogcrush post written by Elisa of Ophelia’s Webb.

“Check out the newest #bligcrush on @Lauren_Hannah http://bit.ly/b7uF5R”

This post is a long time coming – I have been working trying to adequately explain the power of social media building friendships for quite some time – but Elisa’s post expedited its publication.

Social media has successfully infiltrated in many of our lives. I might be a bit of an extreme case (since I work, live and breathe it), but social media absolutely here to stay. It’s the new way of communicating with people – coworkers, potential employers, potential clients, people interested in the same things, people going to the same events, and most importantly, friends. Social media has become a chronology of lives from around the world, and if you’re lucky, you’ll find one or five people whom you can relate to on a deeper level.

I have met some amazingly inspirational people on social media, including Elisa. I have made some of the best friends I’ve ever had on Twitter or through our blogs. Some of whom, I’ve never actually met in person.

While this doesn’t seem like the most “conventional” or (ironically enough) “socially accepted” way to meet people and develop relationships, it is one of the easiest and strongest ways to connect. IF you do it correctly and with intention.

The idea that people aren’t real friends unless or until they are “friends on Facebook” or they “follow each other on Twitter” is a common misconception that has become the brunt of many social media friendship jokes. Also, the idea that one cannot truly make a friend by the true definition of friendship through social media has been proven dead wrong in my life.

There will always be a debate about whether social media can expand people’s social networks and whether online friends can be “real” friends. In a study performed by the University of Maryland’s Department of Sociology, “about a fifth of Internet users met new friends online and some portion of those friendships even migrate offline.” My side? ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY.

The other side of the argument stems from previous views of the Internet. The Internet has been viewed as a “safe space” for the lonely and socially inept crowds. People feel comfortable being online because of the anonymity – it creates a sense of liberation from a restricted and sometimes fearful world.

Today’s Internet, however, is very different. It’s used by hundreds of millions of ordinary people who use these social media sites to connect, share, express, and live.

The “Rich Get Richer” Model

“A ‘rich get richer’ model predicts that those who are highly sociable and have existing social support will get more social benefit from using the Internet. Highly sociable people would reach out to others on the Internet and use the Internet especially through communication … If so, these groups would gain more social involvement and well-being from using the Internet than those who are introverted or have poor network relations” (Kraut et al. 2002).

When I first moved to San Francisco, I knew no one. Not a soul. I had started a Twitter account just a few months prior and had some current friends and family as followers. Unknowingly, I used Twitter, my blog, and other social networks to build a family of friends out here. At first, I wasn’t using social media explicitly to meet people and make friends (in fact, I was a little hesitant and cautious at first – I truthfully didn’t know these people). The idea that just because I’m a naturally sociable person automatically means I gain more from utilizing these sites is an interesting idea, though not entirely merit-worthy.

The Social Compensation Model

“A ‘social compensation’ model would predict that those who are introverted or otherwise have difficulty in maintaining offline social networks might benefit disproportionately from Internet sociality…reduced cues of the Internet environment as well as lack of copresence might actually aid people who might otherwise become anxious, self-conscious or be judged on appearances and this have less success offline” (Kraut et al. 2002).

This has been the general opinion of the Internet for quite sometime – it caters to the people who are afraid or anxious about meeting people in person. It can be quite overwhelming, and turning to the Internet from your own home can be a good way feel that desired camaraderie.

These models seem informative and easily relatable, but in reality, it’s all about your intention and how you approach social media and the Internet.

Some people approach social media as just a way to expand their networks. They put quantity above quality and view their interactions as fleeting since their identities could potentially (and sometimes ideally) be anonymous.

Other people (my friends, colleagues, and members of my ever-growing but highly personalized network) approach social media as a way to meet people, learn from them, and affect lives – even if it’s just one Tweet at a time.

Through social media, I have met and learned from a vast variety of people – from journalists to fellow community managers to other people in the social space to successful, ambitious women and even to some dateable men. How? I view social media as an avenue to build and develop relationships with real people – the real people on the other end of their Twitter handle. To learn about them, about their lives, about their goals, their dreams, and everything they’re doing right now to reach for the stars. These friends inspire me every single day. These relationships are real. And they’re even more real and deeper in real life.

Thanks Elisa, for the incredible post. I couldn’t be happier to have met you IRL and I’m so excited to continue building this friendship online!