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I received an email from OKCupid this afternoon alerting me that “one of these 9 people just gave me high marks.” Ok, 8 out of the 9 people look TERRIFYING and like no one I’d ever date. Sorry, yes, I’m judging your photos.

But ONE of them, is adorable. Go ahead and guess which one. When I click on his photo, OKCupid makes me play the “Quickmatch” game which just rotates pictures of guys trying to be cute with puppies and one dude wearing a women’s sun-hat. WHY CAN’T I JUST GO TO THE HOT GUY’S PROFILE AND WINK AT HIM?

Dear hot guy in the bottom left corner,

If by chance you’re reading this, I’m sorry I couldn’t stalk you on OKCupid. Would you kindly send me a wink or an email or a gchat or ANYTHING?

Love always,

Your Coulda-Been Future Wife If OKCupid Didn’t Suck

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