It doesn’t even feel like it should be Christmas this weekend.

Sometimes I think life moves too fast that you can’t even stop and take a breath, even during the holidays. I missed the Union Square tree lighting this year, and perhaps that was my “tradition” to kick off the holiday season in my new home — San Francisco.

Last Christmas, however, I watched thousands of little white light bulbs illuminate the ornaments on that eighty foot Christmas Tree, by myself. I listened to Christmas music every day at work, drank Caramel Brulee lattes from Starbucks, wrapped myself in bright red scarves, and watched every Christmas movie I owned. It was an adjustment, my first holiday season away from family and friends in Colorado. There were no more snow angels, no more licking icicles, no more hats and mittens, no more tracing hearts in foggy car windows, no more driving through neighborhoods admiring colorful lights strung on rooftops. But I did my best.

This year, I bought a Hanukkah bush and decorated it with ornaments. I light cinnamon and vanilla scented candles and snuggle on my uncomfortable-to-snuggle-on-couch. The only Christmas movie I’ve watched this year is The Holiday (and Christmas Cupid, but that one was so stupid it doesn’t count). I painted my nails “Malaga Wine” and bought some pine cones for my apartment. I did go see A Christmas Carol, but somehow, that didn’t even get me into the holiday mood. I’m not drinking those Caramel Brulee lattes, because there are just too many calories. I’m only nibbling on the baked treats in my office.

This holiday season has been more about change and discipline than it has about comfort and indulgence. And I just don’t know how I feel about that.

2010 has been a year. To say the least. It was November when I started to realize that my experiences in San Francisco were beginning to overlap. I’d think to myself, “Oh, last Thanksgiving, I went down to Menlo Park,” “Last year, I drank spiked cider at a colleague’s holiday party.”

The storefronts with their sparkly snowflakes, the mannequins with their red lipstick, the homeless trumpet player pa rum pa pum pumming, are not nearly as majestic and heart-fluttering as they were last year.

Am I getting used to this city? Or perhaps, I’m just so damn busy I haven’t even noticed.

Last week, tired, exhausted and in the back of a taxi, I drove over the bay bridge late at night. I had to catch my breath as I saw the flickering of all the city lights, green, red and gold. I was so tired I couldn’t even smile on the outside. But, it was then, that I actually slowed down (unintentionally) and took a look around.

The busy-ness of the holiday season comes at no surprise to me. But I don’t think I’ve ever been this busy. Between work, and friends, and business trips, and holiday parties, and attempting to integrate the new boyfriend into my life (yay!), it’s been a crazy couple of weeks.

At the end of 2009, my goal was to work hard. Advance in my company. Make my mark. And learn as much as I possibly could about social media, the business world, and the workplace.

I absolutely, without a doubt, have accomplished and continue to accomplish these goals.

But while I’m genuinely happy with all that 2010 has brought me, it went by way too fast. It was rich full of new experiences, new friends, new relationships, and not a moment went unaccounted for.

In 2011, I want to  s l o w  d o w n.

I want to take more photos, capture more memories, plug my headphones in and drown out the noise. I want to reignite the passion I have for this incredible city. I want to explore new restaurants and bars and museums. I want to post more on Nomists. I want to write something every day — something other than an email and more than 140 characters. I want to go on adventures with the boyfriend, learn about him, let myself go. I want to go on a trip with Casi. I want to meet new people and expand my Twitter circles of friends. I want to finally meet the beautiful Liz and the inspiring Kaci. I want to visit Aubrey in Chicago and Justin in D.C. I want to use my frequent flyer tickets and explore a new place. I want to grow in my career, but not at the expense of my life — because now, I have built a life in San Francisco. I want to stay in touch with Ali, foster our friendship throughout the miles, and visit as often as I can to watch my “niece” grow. I want to talk to my parents for more than 15 minutes on my walk to work. I want to be better about writing in my dad and my “Back and Forth Journal.” I want to send letters and cards to friends and family, instead of just emails or text messages. I want to take time and unplug, like, really unplug. I want to continue on my healthy journey, reach my body goals, and maintain them. I want to take my hot yoga classes and focus on not letting my mind wander.

Most importantly, I want to take time to look around, be thankful for where I am, who I’m with, all I’ve accomplished, and exhale.