No, seriously. When? I had this realization the other day when I was washing the dishes and discussing weekend plans with my boyfriend. I just might be a grown up. And I’m not really sure how I feel about this.
I’ve always been “old for my age” and I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve been told I have an “old soul.” But lately, I’ve really felt….old old.
Last week was one of the busiest most exciting weeks of my time in San Francisco. My whole Community Engagement team was in town (from London, too), we had workshops and presentations and off-sites, oh my! But the real reason everyone was brought together was for an all-hands meeting with the larger Adobe team with which we’ll be integrated.
If I haven’t shared this with you personally, Context Optional, the company that brought me out to San Francisco, was acquired by Adobe Systems. I am thrilled to be a part of the Adobe team. But things are changing.
The Adobe offices on Townsend are incredible. I didn’t even get a full tour, but the woodwork, the cafe, the lounge areas, the conference/presentation rooms — all beautiful. This is like a real office. Like with a badge and everything.
This is not to say that my experience at Context Optional was anything less than real, but the differences between going from start-up mode to large corporation mode offers some pretty grown up stuff.
Between Liz visiting and my cousin visiting, I also had plans every evening last week. Liz and I spent time sipping Dark & Stormies, gabbing about life, careers, work, moving, plans.
I drank champagne and ate roasted chicken with my cousin and her new husband at Zuni Cafe. We talked about work, her husband’s company, travel. Morning mimosas and shopping for new work clothes took over Saturday. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Chores. Errands. Coffee.
I calendar everything. Color code my to-do lists. Send email invites. Am always organized.
I’m old.
My dad would say to never grow up. He’s still a big kid, so I do have faith that I’ll grow out of this phase of feeling old. Like Sunday, when Casi and I and our boys went to eat loads of Indian food and play pool and foosball all night. I’ll cling on to the things that make me feel young…forever!
Life is about balance, and teetering between needs and wants, goals and desires, is an art. I have a serious responsibility to my job (that I love). Spending time with friends, whether you’re playing arcade games or sipping champagne, is incredibly important. Groceries need to be bought. Boyfriends need attention. Chores need to be done. Errands need to be run. And for all of that to happen, of course, Lauren needs to be caffeinated.
That’s just what happens when you grow up.
I like to think being “old” and being “grown up” are two very different things. We don’t have a choice about aging. We are constantly getting older, and getting older is much better than the alternative. How we handle getting old is very much a state of mind even when we have physical and health issues related to our age. Though we have no choice but to age, we certainly have complete control over whether we ACT our age and sadly, many people are “old” before their time.
Though we have no choice about aging, we have complete control over being “grown up.” Grown ups act grown up, have responsibilities, work, pay rent and pay taxes. Doing these things are grown up, but, though they may happen as you age, these actions don’t make you old.
The key is to understand in many ways “getting old” and being “grown up” are reflected in how we act. Understanding there is a time and place for everything helps. There is certainly a time to sit down and pay your bills like a grown up. But there are times when you have to go have a drink and play pool with your friends and just let loose.
I have heard many times that I am aging, but after 52 years its become obvious I am never going to “grow up.” That’s a conscious choice I’ve made. I still pay my bills, work my butt off and pay my taxes. But apparently, I do all that with a mischievous look on my face and a glint in my eyes. Maybe that’s why I am generally a very happy guy. Maybe that’s why the slogan for Toys ‘R Us always resonated with me: “I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys ‘R Us Kid.” Never have truer words been spoken 🙂
All I can say to you is that I hope you grow to be very old but that you never act your age and that you learn when you need to act grown up and when you don’t!
Just my opinion and I’m sticking to it.
Luckily, I tend to like your opinions (most of the time). 🙂
As usual, wonderful insight. I think it was just weird to stop, take a look at where I am and what I’m doing, and realize that I’m doing big things — big, adult things.
And you’re right. There’s a time and a place for everything. 🙂
Great advice. You’re lucky to have such a wise Dad.
I am very lucky 🙂
I think I agree with your dad! Besides, I have a child now (WHAT?!) and I still don’t feel “grown up.” So, there’s that.
Certainly reassuring! 🙂 I agree with dad, too.
YAY YOU. I’m stoked for you in every way. Not only is your life altering in new directions every day, you’re also aware of these changes and embrace them. There’s not much we can do to steer our entire lives but embracing what comes our way and knowing our hard work and devotion to friends, work and ourselves is partly to blame is a good thing to keep in mind.
I think the move to Corporate America is a great step. It might not be your final destination. You may love it or hate it but it’s a step worth taking and the lessons along the way will add many more wisdom points to your soul.
I’ve spent a lot of time in that office. Weekend Bar-camps, overnighters and riding electric scooters through the corridor as security guards chased us down. I wrote a book in that office and it’s a very romantic place to me. Their meeting phone booths are so cute yet claustrophobia inducing.
My only advice is that you make a point to smile each day you swipe your badge. Count blessings, enter in with your heart in the right place and take the punches in stride. Corporate can make anyone go insane but, if you’re smiling, no weekly report or 10th daily conference call can get to you.
🙂
Thanks, Adam. I love your advice. And I am super happy and super excited for all the opportunities that are ahead. All of this is a blessing, and finding that balance is key. 🙂
Also, weekly reports and 10 conference calls? That’s on a good day!
I flit between feeling very grown up and not all grown up. I do all these grown up things but I think I’ve still held on to my childlike nature. I still like to imagine things, still like to sleep in on Sundays, still crave chocolate, still want to spend a day on the couch shirking responsibility in lieu of movie watching.
And you’re right – life is about balance. It’s hard to find, but it’s there, somewhere.
I do all of those things, too. And sometimes I feel like I’m caught between the two — like I can’t decide whether I want to spend a day on the couch or do something productive. I’m stuck in the middle, and I think I’m learning to be okay with that. That there’s a time and a place. And that we just need to find balance. Which, like you said, is there somewhere.
Thanks as always, Terra. 🙂