People tell me I always have an opinion. “Ask Lauren, she’ll have an opinion.” “I bet Lauren has a point of view.” “I’m sure Lauren will want to weigh in.”
Yes.
I am opinionated. And proud of it. I am transparent and honest and sometimes I over-share, but that’s part of what makes me, me.
I like to share. I like to influence. I have a voice and I want to use it. And if I can add any sort of value or perspective to any conversation or person, I’m happy.
I’m asked a lot why I’m so outspoken, why I feel comfortable with my life being an open book. How can I feel so be comfortable revealing so much of myself? My answer is this: we have one life and it’s my job while I’m living to share as much of my life with others as possible. Lisa Barone said it best, “I know that for myself, while most people are scared to expose themselves, I’m scared not to. I’m scared of the moment that occurs when you decide NOT to use your voice because you’re afraid of the reaction. I’m not afraid of the fallout of speaking, I’m afraid of losing myself when I don’t speak. I’m afraid of what happens when instead of showing people what I’m about, I choose to nod quietly and let them get the wrong idea.”
It’s not hard to have an opinion. Everyone has opinions or feelings or inclinations or preferences. Some people choose to share them and others don’t. There are some topics that I don’t weigh in on — I’m not a pro when it comes to politics, for example; therefore, I don’t pretend I understand or know more than I do. Do I have preferences or beliefs around certain social issues, absolutely. But I won’t pretend I know everything about individual candidates, etc. I always speak with conviction on the topics I know the most about.
I’ve come to learn that while opinions can be powerful, what’s even more is listening to and learning from other people’s perspectives.
“As a leader… I have always endeavored to listen to what each and every person in a discussion had to say before venturing my own opinion. Oftentimes, my own opinion will simply represent a con-sensus of what I heard in the discussion. I always remember the axiom: a leader is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind.” — Nelson Mandela
When you listen, you learn. Someone else just might have an opinion that is just as valid (and sometimes even more!) than yours.
Being Outspoken: A Guide
Be confident in who you are and your skills and abilities.
Be confident, but modest.
Never be arrogant.
Your opinion isn’t the only one out there.
Never put others down.
Everyone has an opinion and it’s not your job to convince them that you’re right.
Chances are, there are multiple “rights.”
Admit when you don’t know the answer or when you don’t have an educated opinion.
Analyze and be aware of opposing thoughts.
Let it go when you need to.
Never be aggressive.
Be open. Your ideas aren’t the only ones out there.
Most importantly, listen.
Are you outspoken? How do you balance your opinions?
I am outspoken to the ones closest to me. 😉 I’m slowly working on expanding that small circle.
Totally. That’s where it starts. Some people aren’t even there yet, so you’re doing great! 🙂 Out of curiosity, what holds you back?
My biggest thing, even if I may disagree with the way someone may act or be (for record, I’m totes outspoken too) is that if they OWN it, I respect it a lot more.
I love the list and how you’ve also spoken to listening. To be perfectly honest, most people I know that are over-the-top loud and outspoken don’t listen. They don’t care to listen and they like to just be heard.
I think that speaking with authority and thinking about what you’re going to say (I always forget to do this, I just shout it out) is also powerful.
I love your list 🙂
I totally agree — if someone OWNS their opinion, even if I don’t agree with it, I respect it. It’s the wishy washy I don’t relate to.
Think before you speak! I should add that to the list 🙂
Thanks for the comment, Grace!
As we all know, I am also very outspoken 🙂 However, it has taken many years for me to master the art in listening! For me, that is the hardest thing to do because I always have so much to say and no filter to shut me up. It was a very wise girl who versed me in the art of conversation and thus I think the perfect person also wrote this piece! Love it!!!
not sure if the comment i posted above will apppear here or not; but, I love this post. I can identify with this so much. I’ve always been opinionated and outspoken. In fact, me and all my siblings seem to have this quality. I feel it’s a GREAT quality. When did people start maintaining the position that unless they agree or share your opinion; that you shouldn’t get to have it? or say it. It’s ridiculous.
But, a while back in GW2, I had an experience where another player began a private confrontation with me with these words. “First off, you’re opinionated and outspoken.” Yup. I guess that’s what’s “wrong” with me. :3
I totally agree. I think being outspoken and opinionated are great traits. Now, of course, there is a time and a place for everything and sometimes, I have to work on moderating my opinions and being balanced and open-minded. But, if you can master that, then we’re in good shape! Thanks for the comment 🙂
Oh my..I think people misunderstand being unspoken. I feel exactly like this. I would rather explain myself fully rather than being quiet and letting people get the wrong impression of me. I think this is an insecurity actually.