I wish that I could get to you. I wish that you would let me in. I know what you’ve been going through. I know where you’ve been. I’ve been there before. I’ve had my whole life ripped out from under me, too. I know what it feels like to be in love and lose it all. Trust me, I know.

You have to remember that each person is different. Each relationship is…different. No two people are the same and the bond between two people cannot be replicated.

I like you. You know that. And I think I could love you one day. Not today. Or tomorrow. But one day. I can see it. I know you care about me. About us. You just can’t let me in? There’s something, some barrier, some blockade that’s preventing you. You get close. I get close. Then you catch yourself in your safety net and refuse to believe for one second that maybe, just maybe, this could be good. Maybe it’s just bad timing, maybe you’re just not ready, but I’m just not buying that bullshit. No one is “ready” to fall. It just happens. That’s the beauty of it. It hits you. Blindsides you. Yes, that can be terrifying. I know. But that’s all part of it. That’s part of being with someone. That’s part of sharing your life. That’s part of letting someone in.

Relationships are risks. Love is a risk. But you can’t always walk inside the lines – if you do, you will never feel. You will never be really, truly happy. It can be scary to let it take you over. And you? You’re trying. You’re trying so hard to maintain that control. To do anything and everything you can to keep me out.

I can’t make you trust me. As much as I want to and as hard as I try, I just can’t. You have to work at it too. I know there are obstacles standing in your way. I know you’re trying to make every excuse possible to talk yourself out of taking this risk. And there’s absolutely nothing I can do about that. I know.

It’s hard for me to just walk away. It’s hard for me to give up. I’m not a quitter. I see something really good in you. I see something so great. Of course I’m scared of that too. Of course. But I just know it’ll be worth it. I can look past all of the fears that come with it and see the potential. I see how you make me feel when we’re together. I can see how you are exactly what I’m looking for. If you could just give me the chance.

But, in the end, I have to do what’s best for me.

I don’t want this to be over. But I can’t handle your wild inconsistencies. It’s a mindfuck. And it’s not fair. All I’m asking for is a chance – and you haven’t even tried to give me one.

I can’t prove to you it will be worth it. Especially if you’re unwilling to be open to the idea that this just might be exactly what you’re looking for, too. I can’t prove anything. And I shouldn’t have to. I’ve said it once, I’ve said it countless times. I’m just me. I’m not her, I’m not anyone else. I. Am. Me. I can’t make you fall for me. I can’t make you want to be with me. But I just know, somewhere, in your heart of hearts, you feel this too. There’s no way I could feel this way alone. And If I am – if I’ve been completely tricked, then I can accept that. It’s happened before. This time? It just feels different. I know that if you let yourself go, we could be perfection.

I know none of this happens overnight. It’s baby steps. But they’re baby steps forward. With you, it’s one step forward and two steps back. I can’t keep taking those steps back and trying to forage my way forward with you. It takes two people. You have to be willing to take those steps forward with me. It’s not going to be easy. It’s not. But I’m here. To hold your hand and go with you. With you.

I want to get to you.

But you have to let me.