I’ve always believed that people come into our lives for a season, a reason or a lifetime.
There are some people who enter your life for a short period of time. They’re there during the summer to go lay out by the pool, go to concerts, or be outdoors with. They’re there during the winter to hit the slopes, make hot cocoa, or snuggle up with. And once the season closes, you may not see them again until the next.
There are some people who slide into our lives right when you need them the most. When you’re going through a rough patch, hit a few speed bumps, they’re there to hold your hand and see you through. And as soon as you’re able to walk on your own again, they fall away as quickly as they appeared.
Then, there are the people that are in it until the very end. That unconditionally love you no matter what mistakes you make. Against insurmountable odds, they remain steadfast and complete throughout.
Each of these categories of friendship are important – they serve their purpose and we wouldn’t be human without them.
But, it’s those lifetime friends that truly make a difference.
They’re the people we can turn to no matter what is going on. They’re not only the people you can call at four in the morning when you’ve had a little too much to drink and have accidently dropped your keys down the elevator shaft (hypothetically, of course), but they’re the ones that know you, inside and out, and love you despite all of your flaws.
They love you, for you.
It amazes me how these deep connections are made and how, despite thoughts and wishes, it doesn’t happen overnight. There are stages to achieve this level of intimacy.
After you’re introduced, you go through the acquaintance stage. You’re just trying to get to know each other – feel each other out. You are still putting your “best face forward” as you don’t want to be too forthcoming too quickly. You begin to develop a low level of trust.
Slowly, you become friends. You enjoy each other’s company, love doing things together, and if you get in a little spat, it’s not the end of the world. You bounce back and recover. Your trust in the person is increasing and you begin diving into topics that are a bit stickier – your past, memories, events that have caused both pain and happiness.
Many people get stuck at this stage and mistake it for the highest level of intimacy. In fact, some of these relationships do last a lifetime as they are, without experiencing the deeper connection.
If you’re lucky enough, a few times in your lifetime, you will be blessed with the experience if this intimate, deep connection. With complete and utter transparency, you are able to share anything and everything with this person. You’re not afraid to be open and honest and you’re secure in the relationship. This isn’t a “oh, I hope they’ll still be my friend after tonight,” kind of relationship. It doesn’t matter what happens “tonight,” they’ll be your friend through it all.
To have someone stand by you regardless of circumstance, is magical. They’re there for you even if they’d rather be anywhere else.
It’s those kinds of friendships. Those kinds of intimate relationships that add utmost meaning and value to everything we do, every single day. It doesn’t matter how far apart you are, how long you’ve gone without talking, the second you see them, hear their voice, it feels like they’re right there and you talked to them yesterday.
“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.” – Unknown
I have been blessed with several of these indescribably close relationships, and I hope for many more to come. Have you? What do you consider a “best friend?”
Only one person knows me for me at my deepest level. Just one.
I’m okay with that. Some people don’t even have that.
Exactly, count every blessing. What’s important, is that you recognize the closeness and cherish and appreciate it.
A best friend watches the entire Twilight saga with you, shares her delicious potatoes, wears embarrassing clothes to a party where she doesn’t know anyone, buys a That’s What She Said t-shirt for her mildly inappropriate friend, and goes on long walks through every park in the city and doesn’t feel awkward when the conversation stops. I know someone like this, and I’m thinking it might be one of those lifetime friendships you were talking about.
I think you’re absolutely right. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Fate is the only explanation, and I’m so incredibly grateful!
You are a DOLL BABY!! One of my favorite quotes by Marilyn Monroe says, “if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”. I’m sooo glad that you remain my dear friend after seeing me at my worst!
I value your friendship more than you will ever know. You have such a beautiful heart and I’m very grateful to have you in my life! I think we are in the lifetime group.
Likewise, JuJu! Worst, best, and all the in-betweens, we’re covered. I truly cherish how close we’ve become and we’ll forever be LuLu and JuJu 🙂
It took some time to reach that point, but I am ever so grateful that I’ve been able to experience friendships of all those types. 🙂
It’s hard, sometimes, to take a look at the people in our lives and “define” their purpose. But it’s so important to take a step back and appreciate the relationships we’ve built. It takes time, but it’s so worth it!
There are times where I know exactly why I love you Lauren and you just illustrated it right here. This blog is just great at making the miles between us smaller.
Thanks, Aaron. 🙂 I’m glad I can help make the space seem smaller!
Best friends aren’t friends, they’re the family we choose to have in our lives.
Or at least, that’s how it is for me.
Great post, L.
Could not agree more, Kaci 🙂
I think that you are lucky to have just one person in your life that accepts you unconditionally…and I am so lucky that that person is you! I love you and I am so glad that you can put these kinds of things into words and for some reason they have the most perfect timing. I love you for just being you! XOXO
I KNOW I am lucky — Thank you for always accepting me for exactly who I am. Our friendship has endured years of good times and bad and I am so grateful to have you in my life! Our love and friendship is not bound by geography!
xoxo always 🙂