So, I watch the Bachelor. Don’t judge me.

I find the concept of the show very interesting. The idea that multiple women fall in love with the same man in an extremely short period of time, the man is supposed to pick one of these women and propose and they live happily ever after, is crazy. But apparently, it happens. And for some, it works.

This season, I fell in love with Ali. She was a “contestant” and an extremely bubbly, cute, funny girl that lives in San Francisco. She has a magnetic personality and it was apparent that Jake (this season’s bachelor) felt the same way.

Ali made it all the way to the final four girls. It was then, hours before the Rose Ceremony (when the bachelor eliminates one girl) that Ali was faced with a choice deemed one of the most difficult decisions of her life. She was forced to choose between going back to work and losing Jake, or being fired from her job and possibly be chosen as Jake’s wife. The reality of this is bleak: Jake was dating and falling for three other women.

Ali went to Jake with the news. She was obviously very upset and torn as to what to do. She weighed her options for him and he was (obviously) unable to give her the reassurance and guarantee that she was seeking. How could he? He was on a television show and, like I said, falling for three other women at the same time. (However, Jake proposing to Ali right then and there would have made for some damn good TV).

After much deliberation and many tears, Ali chose to leave and go back to the job she loves. That episode made me think. Ali loves her job. She is very successful and independent and career-driven. She was faced with the choice of giving up something that she loves, something that is a huge part of her life (finances her life as well) for the possibility of ending up with Jake. For the possibility that he would choose her in the end. For the possibility of getting married and living happily ever after. Her job was the safe choice. Her job was a guarantee.

If I were in that same situation, I would do the same thing.

While I don’t know Ali very well, I think we are a lot alike. She appeared on the Bachelor: The Women Tell All Monday night and said many things that I couldn’t agree more with.

While making her decision, she weighed the possibilities in her mind. She said that when she wasn’t getting the reassurance she wanted, the guarantee she deserved, that, “if what I was feeling was real, it didn’t matter. The show didn’t matter. Even if I left, he would come find me…and, he didn’t.”

But work? She chose work over love? This is where it gets scary similar:

“One thing that I do in real life is I don’t really deal with my emotions. Instead of dealing with them, I just bury myself in work. That’s where I go when I want to block out everything else in my life. It’s my defense mechanism. It’s where I go when I’m scared and it helps me get through things. And I was scared. I was scared of getting my heart broken, I was scared of giving up my whole life for someone who could just turn me down in the end. And more so, I was scared of Jake feeling like he owed it to me. I truly believe that our life is measured by the risks we take, even coming to meet Jake in the first place was a risk.”

I. Do. The. Same. Thing. I work. I work hard. Especially when things in my life are a little “topsy-turvy.” Work keeps me busy, keeps my mind off other things. I turn to work as an escape, too.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t envision these circumstances occurring in real life. (Ideally) I will not be falling in love with someone who is seriously dating and potentially falling in love with several other women. I will (ideally) never be uncertain about the way a man feels about me. I will (ideally) never have to wonder whether he will “pick” me. But the idea based on her decision; work vs. love, is incredibly fascinating to me. And while I work my butt off, and love love love my job, I wonder if it affects the way I view relationships. Do I view my life as being an either or? Either I’m successful at my job or I have a successful relationship? Can’t I have my cake and eat it, too? Is it possible to be dedicated to both a relationship and my job? This goes way back to another post but they’re all good questions.

“I am the biggest advocate of women going out there and having careers. One thing I know though, is that when I’m on my deathbed I don’t want to look back on my life and say I didn’t love enough. I’m making a point in my life to put love first. If I worked as hard at my relationships and at love as I do my job, I think I’d be a lot more successful at my relationships.”

Personally, I think the answers lie in balance. As hard as it is (and I don’t even know the half of it) it’s important to maintain a work-life balance in order to achieve true happiness and success in all aspects of your world. It’s important to work hard, strive for greatness, and dedicate yourself to your job. To a certain point. Because you, your life, your friends, your relationships are just as important if not more than the people that pay your bills.

I envision this being a challenge for me. Forever. When I work, I work 100 percent. When I’m in a relationship, I love 100 percent. But I do understand the importance of both being able to coincide peacefully and productively. And I’ll do it. Without losing any of my independence.