My flight back to San Francisco from Denver was an eventful one. The last passenger to board the plane was a young man, probably in his early thirties, who announced to all the passengers that they should not worry because “after a few more drinks, [he] could fly this shit.”
The seats were filled with rolling eyes as he passed by every passenger and found his seat in between two older ladies. He was dubbed “drunk.”
About 15 minutes after the “fasten your seatbelt” sign blinked off, the young man paraded up to the row ahead of me where a lady was sitting in the window seat and a man was sitting in the aisle seat. The middle seat was empty. He promptly asked the man to scoot over so he could sit down. He obliged, and the young man continued his tirade. This time, directed at the man sitting across the aisle. It would soon become apparent that this young man was not drunk. He was sick.
“Hey, man. Where are you from?” he slurred.
“Guatemala,” the man across the aisle replied.
“Do you know what it means to be an American? Do you know what it means to be free?” The Sick Man asked.
“Yes, yes I do,” The Guatemalan replied.
The Sick Man then proceeded to tell The Guatemalan that he could not possibly know what freedom is because Guatemala is actually run by the CIA and Guatemalans aren’t even allowed to think their own thoughts.
The Sick Man was talking above inside-voice level and all the passengers in his vicinity heard his words. There were looks. No, there were snarls. And I caught myself shaking my head and beginning to ignore – chalking up this man to just being crazy. Thinking to myself, “oh man, I’m stuck on this plane with this crazy person for two more hours.”
But The Guatemalan did not flinch with this abrasive behavior. Instead, he patiently replied, stating that The Sick Man’s perception of Guatemala is incorrect. The Sick Man fought his point for a few minutes and then gave up. He then proceeded to ask questions about what The Guatemalan was doing in America.
“I’m on vacation,” he said.
“From what? Building houses?” The Sick Man replied.
“No, I practice Oriental Medicine,” The Guatemalan said, calmly crossing his hands over his knee.
The Sick Man then proceeded to divulge all of his life’s secrets. Full of half-truths and probable full-lies, he told the tale of how his parents are billionaires yet they abandoned him. He had a girlfriend who he got pregnant and she left him on the side of the road. He has no one, nowhere, nothing. The only thing he can count on is his self-diagnosed diabetes and hemorrhoids.
I wanted to stop listening at this point. I wanted to turn away from him and for one second, I thought to myself, he needs help and no one would give it to him.
“I’m sick. And nobody loves me,” he whispered, folding his head into his hands.
And then the most beautiful thing happened. Something that I never expected. Something I can guarantee has not happened to The Sick Man in his immediate lifetime. The Guatemalan listened. Not only did he listen, but he spoke. He spoke patiently, carefully choosing his words, filling each syllable with love. At 35,000 feet in the air, he lent a helping hand.
“You control your destiny,” The Guatemalan cooed. “You are in charge of your life, of what happens to you. You need to take care of yourself above anyone else. Think about what you need, what makes you happy, what is good for you. You are in control.”
The conversation continued with The Sick Man turning to The Guatemalan for heart-wrenching advice. Stating at one point that he didn’t have anything in the world to live for.
The Guatemalan replied, “That’s not true, you have you to live for. You have you to take care of, to love, to treat right. Make changes in your life that make you happy and others will respect you for them.”
At one point during the conversation, after The Sick Man got up to use the restroom, the flight attendant came over to The Guatemalan. He thanked him for “deflecting” the “situation” and apologized for the inconvenience.
The Guatemalan’s response? “He just wants to talk. He has no one to listen.”
This may seem silly, but it touched me. This man is sick and yes, The Guatemalan’s advice may have fallen on deaf ears, and it may have not made a difference in The Sick Man’s life at all, but he said it. He didn’t turn away, rolling his eyes, attributing this crazy man to being just that – crazy. The Guatemalan reached out and treated him like a human being regardless of whatever mental illness possessed this man. And it was beautiful. It was true human kindness. Asking nothing in return.
The conversation ensued. They covered topics of spirituality, parenthood, family, priorities, health and more. The Sick Man eventually drifted to sleep. I was left totally amazed by The Guatemalan’s patience and his willingness to help a complete stranger who had first attacked his heritage and personal integrity. Two things this man very blatantly holds close to his heart. He put aside his pride and provided this man with attention and affection he was so clearly craving.
When the plane landed, The Sick Man woke up. He yelled loud enough for the whole plane to hear, “Welcome to my hometown, California. The State of Marijuana. Smoke a joint!”
And while everyone else rolled their eyes yet again, muttered under their breath how crazy this guy was, The Guatemalan reached out and touched The Sick Man’s arm and reiterated what he’d been saying all along; “Take care of yourself.”
I smiled.
Not just for me, but for The Sick Man who may or may not look back on this plane ride and see that a complete stranger cared. Cared about another complete stranger. And proved that the test for human kindness can be passed.
This is exactly what sound isolating earphones are made for. Up to 119 decibels of ambient noise, aka “crazy people”
Your story is touching, I’m not discounting the kindness that this man offered, but I will read during an entire flight and never once hear babies, engine noise or crazy people even with my music turned off.
wish i could link to one of my posts with the same exactly situation but I don’t pimp my own posts on other people’s blogs. Have a great day and welcome back to the land of marijuana! LOL.
Ha! Yes, those earphones are neat. But, if I had had them on, I would have missed this magic. Send me the link to your post – would love to read it.
I think I maybe definitely would have teared up had I seen this, as you describe it, in real life.
Unfortunately, I’m so cynical now that I would never have seen it as you describe it. I would have seen it as everyone else on that plane saw it – annoying and crazy.
Yet another reason I love you – the optimism. Oh, the optimism.
Aw, thanks Kaci! It is about optimism and seeing past the initial reaction. Like I said, I had that same initial reaction. But, something told me to stop, take a deep breath, and watch this conversation with amazement. And I did. And it was beautiful. Step out of your cynicism! It’s a positive world out here 🙂
What a touching story. And you tell it so well!
Thanks, Aubrey! I’m glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty spectacular experience. It’s great to know that these kinds of people exist in the world and show their colors when others least expect it.
I’m glad you decided to listen in on the conversation. I think anytime we experience random acts of kindness it could inspire us to do kind things as well. It’s easy to look at the world in self colored lenses and never step outside of ourselves that it’s almost shocking to see someone who does. Good story.
Exactly. It’s just like “pay it forward.” Being aware of kindness and its effects is a beginning to creating your own kindness.
definitely an example to learn from. we can’t just tune out our surroundings when there may be those out there who really just need an ear or shoulder regardless of whether or not they know it.
great story. 🙂
I’ve always thought it’s incredibly important to be aware of your surroundings. Unfortunately, the majority of the time we’re aware of our surroundings is when we’re expecting something negative. (Like when I’m conscientious of what’s going on as I walk through the Tenderloin at night). But the trick is to open our awareness to positivity and change our perspective!
Thanks for the comment!
So beautifully written I felt like I was on that plane with you!
Made me think of Rachel Naomi Raven m.d. ( Blessings From My Grandfather) and her video To Be A Blessing. Think you would enjoy it some rainy day when you’re all caught up and need a little extra inspiration.
Thank you! I’ll definitely check out the video. We can always use a little extra inspiration 🙂
Loved it! for two reasons. First because it is so true and such a blessing to witness true human kindness. Second because it reminded me of my most memorable airplane trip. Traveling with a friend we sat across the aisle from each other which left me sitting next to a complete stranger. One who looked different from me. Instead of ignoring him I began a conversation with him. To my great surprise he was a professional storyteller and I was entertained the whole flight with his folklore tales and stories of his history and traditions. His final story was accompanied by his friend who sang background jazz to his words. Yep, right there, in the air. And simply because I opened myself to new people and a new experience. I walked off that flight thinking, “Life is good!”
Your story is exceptional as well. There are a lot of people in this world and we’ll never be able to share experiences with anyone if we’re not open to it. We never know who we’re going to meet, but everyone is capable of affecting lives – we just have to let them! And life is GREAT!
I happened to stumble across your site quite by accident. Most recently, I have taken to learning about what others feel is true human kindness vs. just being “nice” and how an individual can actually work on being kind to himself and others.
Your story was a classic example of a KIND person. A nice person would probably do as you had done originally…pass this off as more airline craziness and just try to ignore in silence. The kind person is love-in-action: patient, understanding, empathetic and actively LISTENS without defensiveness or ego. The kind person truly wants to help and elevate his fellow human being…which, in a way, is also helping himself. I’d love to say that I would do the same….but I doubt it. But I sure can (and have a lot to) learn from people like this gentleman
Great post. Great story. God bless people like this. Not only do they renew my faith in man/womankind…they make me want to follow their example. I have a feeling YOU already are!
Thank you so much for your comment. I completely agree – there is a difference between just being nice and being genuinely kind. I’m very grateful you stumbled upon my site and left such a thoughtful comment. I did take this as a learning experience – it touched my life and I was hardly involved. Imagine how many lives can be touched by kindness.
Thanks again for your comment and I truly appreciate your readership!
Off the point but how did they let this guy on the plane? They harass all kinds of regular people but let someone having a mental episode on the plane. Damn TSA. I’m glad everything ended well.